One Powerful Way To Happy Relationships: Correct Language

We are all different. Learn to love people in their language.

Why do people in today’s society seem to fail in relationships? Most of them lack communication and emotional intelligence or find out something about their partner that is a deal-breaker. Maybe somewhere out there, two people are deeply in love, but they’re still struggling to truly understand one another. They can’t seem to understand in what language their significant other is radiating their love. Oops, I’m talking about you? Can’t be!

Jokes aside, love languages have been around for a while now, but lots of us don’t consider these languages. Gary Chapman broke them down. Let’s take a look.

Words Of Affirmation

First, starting with verbal expression to show love and appreciation. Compliments, kind words, encouragement, appreciation, etc. It’s as simple as “ You look gorgeous in that dress” and “ I’m so thankful for what you do for me every day”. A partner who falls into this category just wants to be reassured. No ego lifts, nothing, just bare, simple reassurance.

Quality Time

Moving on to giving all your attention and focus. Time is the thing we can’t rewind, something priceless in our world. So, if a partner values their and your time, quality time is the way to go. This doesn’t mean to be scrolling on your phone while the other talks, you have to be fully in the moment, shifting your focus to them and only them. Plan eventful activities and make wonderful memories.

Also, quality time is important for all relationships. Learning to value and respect each other’s time is essential for deeper connections.

Receiving Gifts

People who LOVE Santa Claus. Just kidding, a partner who falls into this category expresses their love through giving or receiving thoughtful gifts. It’s all about remembering small details and observing. Like buying them a new snack they have been wanting to try. Handwritten notes that show you’ve been thinking about them. Remembering a thing they mentioned once and don’t even remember saying. A simple love note next to a burning hot coffee left on the table is worth just as much as an expensive gift. To some - even more.

Acts Of Service

The people who love getting work done. It’s as simple as bringing out the trash, picking up groceries, and making them their favourite meal. It doesn’t mean that you have to be running around them like a servant, doing all the things, no, simple few tasks would be enough. Supporting them while they are working hard or stressed, taking things off of their to-do list, to make things easier for them.

Physical Touch

The last expression of receiving and giving love is through physical gestures. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, resting your hand on their lower back or neck, etc. A partner who simply loves the feeling of closeness.

While sexual intercourse is crucial for all relationships and makes you feel secure, with this love language you or your partner always find a way to touch. Whether it’s by noticeable actions or secretly touching their arm or leg or even touching shoes. No matter what you do you’re like magnets stuck to each other.

How to recognise

Often people express their love the way they want to receive it. Complimenting you, putting away all distractions and focusing on you, buying you a coffee, opening the door for you, putting their hand on your shoulder when they laugh.

All situations can be different. If a man opens up the door for you, it doesn’t mean he loves acts of service. Men always open up the doors. I just gave some examples so it’s easier to spot on and observe.

It’s easier to recognise your family’s, friend’s or partner’s love language as you actually get to spend time with them and observe which expression they like the best.

What way of receiving love do you like? Do you like a few? Sit down and find out. It will be easier for you and your partner to communicate.

If you’re still confused, there are plenty of tests on the internet. Sit down, circle the letter or numbers, count them up and you’ll see your love language.

Writing a dictionary

Gary Chapman, in his book” The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”, wrote: Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other. You must be willing to learn your spouse’s primary love language if you are to be an effective communicator of love. Read that again.

Find out what both of you like. If your love languages are different - a very common thing - writing down a “dictionary” would be a great idea. Listing things that’ll make you and them feel most loved.

Example:

• Word of affirmation:” When you say I look pretty, I believe you love me”

• Quality time:” Spending a day with you makes me feel like we’re connected”

• Receiving gifts:” A handwritten note means more to me than a diamond ring”

• Acts of service:” When you do the dishes, it makes me feel like you love me the most”

• Physical touch: “ A hug after a long work day, makes me feel safe and understood”

Write down a list of things and explain how they make you feel. The next time you or your spouse are confused, look at the list. It’s not necessary to follow what’s on the list. It’s simply to give you an idea of how to love correctly.

Closing remarks

You can give all the love you have at its fullest, but if your partner speaks a different language, all this effort will be overlooked.

So, will you and your partner start the journey of discovering the best way to speak each other’s love language? Or will you take the time to understand your own love language first?

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”― Anais Nin